It’s been awhile since I last talked to him.

Funny how I couldn’t simply recall our very first hello but our very last, still lingers in my head like it just happened. I cannot express to you how many times I have failed at love.

I always wonder where does love go if it doesn’t go to me. Do you just wake up one morning and find love hovering outside your window? Do you go look for it or does it willingly come to you?

Why isn’t life fair to me?

I do not wake up and greet love by my window every morning. I have given up on love long ago.

I build walls from bricks love throws at me.

I pick up every last piece and construct them around me, as high as they can go, as high as love allows me, until I am trapped inside. With him out of my sight.

I tell myself that it’s for the best, over and over again. That this lie would slowly become true. Yet, I am not convinced.

Even with these brick walls standing in our way.