It baffles me how easy it is for some people to erase you completely from their life. With a click of a button, you’re suddenly blocked from the place that once brought you together. How fast it is to be a stranger to someone you once knew so well.

I find myself constantly wondering, “Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I simply push people away like that?”

It must be nice to be able to do that. It must be nice if I could just rid people out of my life— with a touch of a button, with unsaid goodbyes, with no care at all.

But I know deep down that I can’t. I can’t and won’t ever throw away anyone who has been a part of my life, a part of my memory, that easy. I don’t know if I could even live with myself if I did.

This is not me trying to be the bigger person. This is not me trying to sound ‘good’. This is only me trying to keep whatever it is that I have close to me— for as long as I possibly can. I don’t meet people often, I don’t have a long list of friends, so those people that I can call my friends mean so much to me than most of you can only imagine.

However, I know that life isn’t always sunshines and rainbows. I know that I can’t always have things my way. Friendship ends, but my life doesn’t stop here.